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If a couple is going to have sex, it’s important for them to talk things over first. They need to discuss topics like their sexual boundaries and how they can protect themselves. Talking about STDs is an important part of this conversation. Remember, though, that since others can’t always be accurate about their STD status—especially because they may not even know they have one—using condoms for protection is very important.
Of course, if you have an STD, it’s good to be honest. Not only will it help you take the right precautions to protect your health and your partner’s health—by either abstaining from
intercourse until an outbreak is over or practicing safer sex—it also shows your partner that you care about and respect him or her. Chances are, your partner will appreciate your truthfulness and reciprocate, and such honesty may even strengthen the emotional
bond between you.
Here are some tips that professionals offer about how to talk about sex. Choose a time and place that’s relaxed and comfortable before you get intimate (ideally that means before you take your clothes off!). Be sure to know plenty of important facts so that you can answer any questions your partner may have. You might want to start the conversation on a positive note—for example, by telling your partner that you really care for him or her and that’s why you want to discuss something important. If part of what you want to tell your partner is about an STD you have, you might say that last year, you found out you carry HPV, or that you just learned that you have chlamydia and you want him or her to get checked out. If you have genital herpes, you might explain that you sometimes get sores in the genital area.
Keep it simple and just give the facts about symptoms, treatment,
how the disease is spread, and how you can protect each other. This is a difficult conversation that will likely stir up a lot
of emotions, but try to think of it as simply sharing vital
information. Then give your partner some time and space to digest the news. After all, it probably took you a while when you first heard. Offer to provide more information or an STD hotline number. With time, most people take the news pretty well and don’t let it stand in the way of the relationship. (And if they don’t take it well, it’s better to find out before the relationship goes too far.) With everything that’s been learned in recent years about STDs and their transmission, it’s entirely possible for people with an STD to have a satisfying sex life without passing the infection to their partners.
Whether or not you’re sexually active, now you have the facts you need to protect yourself. The next step is putting this
information into practice. Communicate with your partner about your choices. Take precautions to avoid unintended pregnancy and lower your risk of getting an STD. Your health is entirely in your hands. So whatever you decide to do, make choices that you can enjoy and feel good about—today, tomorrow, and the next day.
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HOW TO TALK TO YOUR PARTNER
WHETHER YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE SEX OR NOT, IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT SEX. HAVING DIRECT CONVERSATIONS ABOUT SEX CAN BE UNCOMFORTABLE BUT IT DOES GET EASIER IF YOU ARE CONFIDENT ABOUT YOUR FACTS. BOTTOM LINE: WHEN IT COMES TO SEX, GOOD COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT, WITH FRIENDS, HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS, PARENTS AND FAMILY, AS WELL AS YOUR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND.
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